How it all started

My Dad is still in Western WA. I live for the time in Southern California, and I see him every two months for about a week each time; The changes I see are more evident than someone who sees him every day. I have plans to move back to WA but that isn't possible yet so I must make the best use of the time when I am up there. It really hurts not to be there every day though.

My Father came to this place because a few years ago, he had a heart attack and didn't tell my brother (who was still living at home) that he was in terrible pain, and had been for a few days. My brother heard him being ill and asked him what was going on and made dad spill the beans about how he was feeling. Dad's from the old school, where you don't talk about or "complain" about what ails you; that's why he didn't tell my brother. He had my Dad in the hospital faster than you can blink.

After he was evaluated, it was found he has had a major heart attack, and had 95% blockage on 3 arteries and 75 on the other. He needed a quad bypass right away. They put him into a hospital in Seattle with a very good track record where he had some preliminary tests and an angiogram which confirmed our fears. He was scheduled for surgery. We kissed him goodbye and waited.

7 1/2 hours later they told us he had come through it okay. I thought I was prepared for seeing him. My brother and I walked into ICU to see him. I took one look at him and burst into tears and left the room. I collected myself and went back in. He looked so small and diminished; the incision area still colored with betadine. He looked very pale and very wan. He was still on full assist too. I went right up to him and I told him I loved him, and that his vitals were good and for him to rest and get his strength back. I told him I loved him and that we'd be back.

I saw him the next day and he was semi-conscious, drifting in and out but looking very strange. His eyes were very glassed over and he was mumbling and making no sense. I figured this was due to the operation (a quad bypass with arterial reconstruction) and tried not to be too concerned about it. Who wouldn't be like this after being under a general anesthesia for 7 1/2 hours? AND being on a heart-lung machine?

The third day I saw him he was up, walking around, completely agitated saying, he was "going to walk home come hell or high water." He was walking around in his gown, his legs bleeding and oozing from having the arteries grafted from there, pushing around his IV pole. He was walking in circles around the ward, swearing. When we were finally able to get him into bed, he was combative and non-compliant. He took a swing at a nurse and an orderly. We had no choice but to sedate him and have him put in restraints.

This was NOT my Father! When he went into hospital, he was nothing like this man. He was a very gentle soul who would NEVER take a swing at anyone or even hurt a fly! This was not in his nature. Where did my Dad go?

There is an affliction that people who have been on heart-lung bypass can get sometimes. It's been kept pretty hush-hush for a number of years and one can see why. The affliction is called "pump head." I really don't like this term. I found 2 articles on it:
"Pump head" article 1
"Pump Head" Article 2

I think that he had a series of mini-strokes...Or possibly the trauma of the operation was enough to bring Alzheimer's on early onset.

In any case, my Dad is leaving slowly, dying a little bit every day. I'm grateful that he still remembers me a little bit.

It just breaks my heart to bits.